"I Was a Teenage Cannibal," Lance Armstrong and "Lyin' Brian"

Story time:  A few  decades back a small private plane carrying an adventurous heiress of a giant American food processing corporation and her one year old son crash landed on an island of cannibals in the Caribbean.  The woman and the pilots promptly became dinner for the locals.  

Immediately, however, they took a liking to the strange "white as a mid-day sun" baby and decided to keep and raise him as their own.....as a cannibal.

  

The distraught father undertook a 17 year quest to look for them with DNA testing finally confirming that that strange, bedraggled teenager in the midst of a tribe was indeed his son.  After much negotiations with the elders, he was able to take him back to the family mansion in Pennsylvania.  

An extensive program to acclimate him to civilization soon followed including a barrage of attention from psychiatrists, doctors, linguists and anthropologists.  No one, however, could get him to eat the food that modern society served:  Pig, beef, fish, turkey, etc.  

In exasperation, the father prepared a huge feast put together by not just a few of the world's top chefs - in the belief (apparently, he, a fan of Vegas-style buffet) that given the choices exhibited before him he would finally give in. 

It was an evening, of course, that quickly fell into the disappointment category. 

"Richard, you've the world's greatest collection of food right in front of you, why is it that you refuse to even take a look at it?," the father wailed.  Visibly annoyed, he continued, "What is it you really want to eat?"

"You," said the teenager. 

This past week saw us learn a bit more about the disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong.  He, of course, is the seven time Tour de France champ who eventually got his titles stripped because of cheating - using illegal performance enhancing substances.  

He'd a wonderful story - a cancer survivor, putting up a foundation for survivors of the disease - but, had kept the secret of his cheating through several years of court battles.  With surmounting evidence against him, he'd finally fessed up in 2013.  

Was he remorseful?  An interview last month seems to indicate he isn't, "If you take me back to 1995, when doping was completely pervasive, I would probably do it again."  This on top of an incident last December where he had wrecked two parked vehicles with his SUV and had his girlfriend take the blame for it.  

Pity the person, huh, who can't help himself because it's in his nature?

This also bring us to the story of NBC News anchor Brian Williams who just this evening had to take a leave after it surfaced that stories he has continued to tell - being in a helicopter that was shot down in Iraq and exaggerated reporting during Katrina - are turning out to be false. 

It's now coming to light that, apparently, his proclivity for lying is an open secret and had been allowed to go on by his superiors.  

Pity the person, huh, who has no one to tell him the truth about his nature? 

Written February 8, 2015 

Of Indizh, Canyon Cove and the Deaths of Crosby and Botak

As I may have recounted to some of you, I’d an extremely bizarre incident some time back while trying to book a room at Canyon Cove for my cousin Marga’s wedding. 

After repeated attempts to have them reach out to me, in exasperation, I’d blurted out to an agent, “How would you feel if you were in my shoes?”  Big mistake to ask someone who’s been trained to just be a drone – no feelings and mechanical. 

The conversation – in various avenues of the same theme – went on for about 20 minutes with her just saying that she’ll try to find out what happened and will get back to me. 

“I don’t care about what you’re going to do,” I kept repeating, “I just want you to tell me what you would feel if you were in my situation.” 

“I’m sorry, po, but I can’t,” was the automatic reply. 

Filipinos are possibly the warmest and most hospitable people in the world.  It’s what really makes me call this place “home.”  Given the wrong guidance and culture, however, they can be exasperating.  Key, I suppose is to bring out our strengths and capitalize on them.  Something Canyon Cove, obviously, didn’t do. 

I'd understood everything clearly when we finally stayed at the resort and actually felt bad I'd demanded so much from the person I'd spoken to.  After all, it was a place that was utilitarian, not too well kept and had that "pwede na" feel to it.  She was primarily echoing this culture.  

People who really know me are aware of my extreme nationalism – I’m not too happy when I’ve to eat at a restaurant that’s foreign and, for the longest time held, off on buying a pair of rubber shoes because I’d the belief there’s a local brand (even took a trip to Marikina). 

I've come up with a term - "indizh" - a play on the word indigenous - to describe homegrown companies that I'd rather patronize.  So, yeah, please, don't come running to invite me to the opening of that new Pink's Hotdogs.  I'm fine with my Manang's Chicken, thank you.   

Reasons for this include the practical:  I'd rather that the money made by an establishment stay in the country rather than go to that shareholder living in that four bed / five car McMansion in that tony Idaho suburb. 

So, in my long quest for that pair (I can actually share with you the state of my old one - which literally fell apart), I came to the realization that brands I knew growing up - Crosby and Botak - no longer exist.  Was it, perhaps, our inability to innovate that brought about this?  

Our, yes, culture that allows us to fall into that "pwede na" category?  Perhaps it was that and not the Ice Age that killed the dinosaurs, right?

Written January 31, 2015  

Of Mystery Manila, Shake Shack and Making Manny Poor

Checked out Mystery Manila with the kids over the break and it's highly, highly recommended.  To the uninitiated, it's a "live escape room game" where a group of friends and family have 60 minutes to figure out clues in order to get out "alive" and win some minor prizes - shirts, pens, stickers.  It's fun, but, quite intellectually taxing.  

Actually, it would have been a much greater experience had our guide been more involved and not so bored.  I understand we'd probably been his umpteenth guests, but, still.....

As it was, we were scratching ourselves trying to figure some of the things he was saying.  It'd seemed he'd lost the raison d'etre for the whole enterprise:  To have fun. 

I'd dare imagine if it had been run by Disney or Chili's, instead.  

Or, a company called Shake Shack.  Shake Shack is a wildly successful burger joint that is going public in a few and one factor in its phenomenal growth (from $21 Million in sales 2010 to $140M in three years) has been its model of paying higher than the average to its employees.  Their filing with the SEC stated that doing so attracts "...higher caliber employee(s) and this translates directly to better guest service." 

Making Manny Poor  

Along that line, we've a game here at home we've come to call "Make Manny Poor."  "Manny" is Manny Pangilininan - all around rich guy and who's responsible for our water, electricity and phone - and the formula is this:  We've set our general electric consumption at P5,500.00 a month and water at P1,000.00.

Should we hit less than those amounts, the kids get 80% and the helpers 20% of the difference.   

We've been at it for five months and is it successful?  Mildly, I would think.  The lights still do get left on and showers taken a little longer than necessary, but, there's a slight improvement in the bills I've noticed.  I suppose in the long run kids will finally figure out the value they gain in this exercise.  

There is, after all, some value I think when all stakeholders involved in an organization are made to feel important.  The least, I think, would be great customer service. 

Written January 4, 2015