Thursday, March 12, 2015

"I Was a Teenage Cannibal," Lance Armstrong and "Lyin' Brian"

Story time:  A few  decades back a small private plane carrying an adventurous heiress of a giant American food processing corporation and her one year old son crash landed on an island of cannibals in the Caribbean.  The woman and the pilots promptly became dinner for the locals.  

Immediately, however, they took a liking to the strange "white as a mid-day sun" baby and decided to keep and raise him as their own.....as a cannibal.

  

The distraught father undertook a 17 year quest to look for them with DNA testing finally confirming that that strange, bedraggled teenager in the midst of a tribe was indeed his son.  After much negotiations with the elders, he was able to take him back to the family mansion in Pennsylvania.  

An extensive program to acclimate him to civilization soon followed including a barrage of attention from psychiatrists, doctors, linguists and anthropologists.  No one, however, could get him to eat the food that modern society served:  Pig, beef, fish, turkey, etc.  

In exasperation, the father prepared a huge feast put together by not just a few of the world's top chefs - in the belief (apparently, he, a fan of Vegas-style buffet) that given the choices exhibited before him he would finally give in. 

It was an evening, of course, that quickly fell into the disappointment category. 

"Richard, you've the world's greatest collection of food right in front of you, why is it that you refuse to even take a look at it?," the father wailed.  Visibly annoyed, he continued, "What is it you really want to eat?"

"You," said the teenager. 

This past week saw us learn a bit more about the disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong.  He, of course, is the seven time Tour de France champ who eventually got his titles stripped because of cheating - using illegal performance enhancing substances.  

He'd a wonderful story - a cancer survivor, putting up a foundation for survivors of the disease - but, had kept the secret of his cheating through several years of court battles.  With surmounting evidence against him, he'd finally fessed up in 2013.  

Was he remorseful?  An interview last month seems to indicate he isn't, "If you take me back to 1995, when doping was completely pervasive, I would probably do it again."  This on top of an incident last December where he had wrecked two parked vehicles with his SUV and had his girlfriend take the blame for it.  

Pity the person, huh, who can't help himself because it's in his nature?

This also bring us to the story of NBC News anchor Brian Williams who just this evening had to take a leave after it surfaced that stories he has continued to tell - being in a helicopter that was shot down in Iraq and exaggerated reporting during Katrina - are turning out to be false. 

It's now coming to light that, apparently, his proclivity for lying is an open secret and had been allowed to go on by his superiors.  

Pity the person, huh, who has no one to tell him the truth about his nature? 

Written February 8, 2015 

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