"Existentialist philosopher with crude jokes" is probably an apt description for comedian provocateur Bill Hicks. He dared you to challenge your own beliefs. He didn't want you to just laugh. He also wanted you to think. Including thinking about our very own existence.
Some of his gems:
“If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CDs and burn them. Cause you know what? The musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? Real fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fuckin' high they let Ringo sing a few songs."
"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fuckin' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."
"What do atheists scream when they come?"
"My final point about alchohol, about drugs, about pornography...What business is it of your's what I do, read, buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm another human being whilst on this planet? And for those of you having a little moral dilemna on how to answer this, I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation outta my fucking life. And stop bringing shotguns to UFO sightings, they might be here to pick me up and take me with 'em."
"Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense."
"Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There's another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate."
"I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit … left chocolate eggs in the night. Now … I wonder why we're fucked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the fucking book."
"I think it's interesting the two drugs that are legal, alcohol and cigarettes, two drugs that do absolutely nothing for you at all; and the drugs that might open your mind up to realize how badly you're being fucked every day of your life? … Those drugs are against the law. He-heh, coincidence?"
"Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once?: Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
"You believe the world's 12,000 years old? Okay, I got a one word question to ask, ready? Dinosaurs. You know the world's 12,000 years old and dinosaurs existed in that time. You'd think it would have been mentioned in the Bible at some point: And lo, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth but the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus' paw and the big lizard became his friend."
"Christianity has a built-in defense system: Anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism."
I had been told by my best friend that smart comedy has no place in the Philippines. That the only one that can be successful is the kind containing insults, screaming, toilet humor and gay lingo. Too bad since a lot of things we do here (not just by politicians, mind you) is a joke. Would be great if they were funny, too.
I think it would help our country tremendously if we, as a people, actually started thinking. If, somehow, a mirror was put in front of us we'd finally realize how absurd we are. For example:
The flooding of Ondoy was not made by God. It was made by people like you and I. We throw our trash everywhere. We're not doing anything to have less people. We're not doing enough to help people have decent homes and not have to live by the river. We're not holding our government accountable for not enforcing zoning laws. Of course, we were going to have the great flood.
Or (the people in my industry will kill me for this, but, here goes):
We spend so much on medicines, vitamins and cure-alls (look at the billboards, ads, commercials. Never seen a country peddle them like we do) when one just has to see that it's what we eat, our lifestyle...our own-made pollution around us that's actually killing us.
They, of course, kill people with dangerous ideas: Gandhi, Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, Jose Rizal to name a few. Jesus and Rizal? Both were instigators killed for exposing the wrongdoings of the Church and their fellowmen. Rizal did it, of course, through the pen. His ideas were the seeds of the revolution. Soon as I know more about Rizal, I'll feature him in an "Incendiary Minds" column.
Bill Hicks died in 1994 at the age of 32. His legacy has lived on, however, with a documentary and a rumored film to be directed by Ron Howard and with Russell Crowe portraying Hicks. Google "bill hicks prophet" and you'll get 41,000 hits.
Jon King at Consious Ape writes, "Like Martin Luther King, Bill Hicks had a dream, a vision of how things could be if only we’d get our shit together and risk a little trust—take responsibility for who and what we truly are and live as though we mean it, as though we care about each other and this incredible world on which we all live.
Bill Hicks’s vision was one of hope, an aspiration that reached out beyond the constraints of religion, fear and impending doom and caught sight of just how incredible life could be—if we want it...that if we seize the opportunity we could rid the world of greed and fear and fill it up with love."
The only way to close this piece:
The transcript:
"The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid - ever - because... this is just a ride.' And we kill those people.
'Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride! Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry; look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.'
It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that - ever notice that? - and we let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because... it's just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort. No worry. No job. No savings and money. Just a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy bigger guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, into a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and, instead, spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would do many times over - not one human being excluded - and we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever. In peace."
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
We're All Whores Anyway Or The Balls and Chains Keeping Us Down Part 1
George Bernard Shaw was at a party once and he told this woman that everyone would agree to do anything for money, if the price was high enough.
`Surely not,' she said.
`Oh yes,' he said.
`Well, I wouldn't,' she said.
`Oh yes you would. For instance, would you sleep with me for... for a million pounds?'
`Well,' she said, `maybe for a million I would, yes.'
`Would you do it for ten shillings?' said Bernard Shaw.
`Certainly not!' said the woman `What do you take me for? A prostitute?'
`Madam, we've established that already,' said Bernard Shaw. `We're just trying to fix your price now.'
My wife, that would be Kelly, complained why I have to call it "whores" and not a more generic phrase like, "We've All Got A Price" or something as innocuous. Look, I'm desperate to get readers. "Whore" seems, I don't know, controversial and seems to make for bad publicity. And, as any astute Filipino knows, there's no such thing as "bad publicity."
I once wrote Jessica Zafra an email that was both affectionate:
I belong to the generation (39 years old, middle-class, educated, etc.) that adored your Today columns. Yes, I remember 1994. You were able to put to words our feelings, fears....ok, bit too dramatic - more like angst. I still remember reading "Worldwide Domination" that year. I once almost went up to say hi when a friend and I spotted you at a cafe in Megamall in '95.
and critical:
Am quite surprised about the stuff you've been writing about. I left (1995) when you were angry, hopeful, funny and biting. I can still see that part of you in your writing but it's overshadowed by someone who has joined the establishment.
Did I feel betrayed by someone I looked up to? You do, when you see that person hawking Adora in The Philippine Star. But, that was before I became poor and started learning about "envelopmental journalism." You see, sorry for you and good for me if you're not aware, but Philippine media seems to be largely...how do I delicately say this, "corrupt." Now...now, corruption is all relative, am I correct? What could be considered corrupt in..let's say...Norway... may not necessarily be wrong here.
Let's just say that the...okay, let's compromise here... "Western" definition for corruption is, "abuse of public power, office, or resources by government officials or employees for personal gain, e.g. by extortion, soliciting or offering bribes."
Now, consider these glossary of terms used to describe....ehem...transactions in Philippine journalism*:
AC-DC For attack-collect-defend-collect. A kind of journalism where the reporter attacks a person in order to collect money from that person's rival or enemy. The same journalist then defends the person originally attacked, also for a fee. MY NOTE: Uproarious.
ATM journalism Refers to reporters who receive discreet and regular pay-offs through their automated teller machine (ATM) accounts. News sources simply deposit cash into these accounts instead of issuing checks or handing the money over to the journalists in envelopes. Often, the accounts are in the names of relatives, rather than of the reporters themselves. ATM journalism became popular in the 1990s, taking over from the more simple "envelopmental journalism" that took place in the 1970s and '80s.
Ayos As in "fix," the act of bribing reporters either with money or other gifts like late-night entertainment.
Bicycle Gang Refers to the contacts of politicians in television news desks who ensure that video footage of candidates barnstorming in the provinces is circulated to the different TV networks by a messenger riding a bike.
Blood Money A pay-off to ensure that a story or critical article is killed or else slanted in the briber's favor before publication. This is different from "smiling money".
Bukol From the Tagalog word that means a bump, usually on the head. A reporter gets a "bukol" or is considered "nabukulan" if he or she fails to get a share of the largesse being distributed by politicians and other news sources whom they cover.
Didal Refers to the practice of media handlers pocketing for themselves a part of the money intended for distribution to reporters. For example, if a party's media bureau sets aside a P2,000 allowance for each of the reporters covering an event, the media staff would distribute only P1,000 to P1,500 and keep the rest. The reporters in this case consider themselves "nadidal."
Envelopmental journalism A take on "developmental journalism," which became popular in the 1970s. Journalism is deemed "envelopmental" if it involves an envelope of cash paid to journalists to sway their reporting.
Hao Siao A derogatory term used to refer to pseudo-journalists, those not employed by a reputable news organization but pass themselves off as journalists in order to cash in on payoffs and bribes made by news sources, particularly during elections.
Inteligensia Cash given as bribe or protection money to the police, a part of which goes to journalists covering the police department. Some reporters have begun using the term to refer to the regular payments that they get from law enforcers.
Main Event Refers to the act of distributing cash to journalists. A press conference or news coverage is not deemed over until the cash is dispensed -- this is considered the "main event."
Orbit Like planets revolving around the sun, reporters also make the rounds of offices, particularly the police stations, to get their weekly payola. The term may also refer to any effort to visit offices for the purpose of soliciting money from news sources.
Placement The position or department within the media bureau of a government agency or company that is in charge of ensuring that press releases are sent to news offices and published or aired when they should be. While there are PR professionals who do the job, some journalists are hired to ensure "placement' as well. Some journalists also moonlight as writers for candidates, ensuring placement by making appeals to their friends in newspapers and broadcast agencies.
Point Man A reporter or editor working in a news organization but who is also paid by a candidate or political party to ensure that press releases are published or aired and also to warn the candidate of negative stories emanating from rival camps.
Smiling Money Cash that is given to reporters or editors for no particular reason except to create goodwill between a source and the journalists. It can also be used to refer to a payoff given after the publication of a positive story, supposedly as a gesture of the source's appreciation.
Tigbas Cebuano word for "cut", used to refer to a hatchet job. MY NOTE: My gulay, even the those loveable Cebuanos are in on it.
Now, with the plight I'm in: rent to pay, tuition to an exclusive all-girl's school, one of the highest electricity rates in the world, gymnastics classes, P300.00 movie tickets, car mortgage, househelp, gas, etc., I completely understand that I was being naively critical of you, Ms. Zafra.
No, I'm not saying that Jessica Zafra is corrupt. Fact is, she's probably just obligated by her paper to tout in her column the companies that advertise. Somehow, though, I have a feeling she's not too happy about that. I'd like to think that she's someone who does not accept anything for her coverage.
Ethical dilemmas, though, are raised: Is it okay to push products through opinion writers? If it's not a good product, do you still come up with a positive review? If the advertiser is guilty of some wrongdoing, will objectivity still be possible?
I'm sure those are weighty issues worth tackling...by somebody. As for me, I want to be known as the Bond, James Bond of Philippine media. Cause now I have the License to Shill (Was that good? That's the kind of writing, I have observed, that could get me a regular gig in the Lifestyle section of a daily). Yes, screw principles. Call me the Congressman of principles: "Heck, everybody's doing it why shouldn't I."
As a lot of my fellow Filipinos know, principles mean nothing when you're hungry for a Dad's cross-over buffet, you want a nice vacation in Singapore for the wifey and the little brats, college education at a non-State university, an extra car (or two), maybe a driver...and...and an extra helper (or two) to look after the afore-mentioned brats. Also, I can no longer stand the shame of still being partly supported by my parents and brother-in-law.
I'm glad I live in a society that has lowered its moral benchmark (speaking of Bench: I'm willing to cover your sexy events for free. Just don't tell the others) that I don't feel so dirty accepting envelopes of cash or deposits into my ATM (please see my account number below).
So, PR and Placement people: Listen up, these are the things we can do to my blog:
Vacation:
Here we are enjoying our stay at the wonderful (Your resort here:__________. Price: Three nights minimum stay, airfare for four, transfers, free meals and P15,000.00 allowance).
We were met by the wonderful General Manager (Price: P2,000.00) and his lovely assistant (P1,000.00). It was the most relaxing time. ___________ Resort (P7,000.00) really is a gorgeous place. My, did we have such enchanting memories on our trip home.
Total Cash Involved: P25,000.00
Political:
_________ Says Doctors Should Be Paid More
Sen._________ is batting for higher compensation for doctors to encourage them to stay and practice their profession in the country.
_________ noted that a lot of doctors have opted to become nurses....
Total Cash Involved (TCI): Guys, I'm willing to work "Smiling Cash Money." I'm not that greedy.
Good Old-Fashioned Peddling:
The 2010 holiday collection of _____________ (P30,000.00) studies the complex and intricate relationship between women and shoes. This ranges from the perspective of sexuality, culture , psychological to feminism studies, providing us with insight into women's desire for shoes. Sigmund Freud said....
___________ is available at Greenbelt 5, Power Plant Mall, Shangri-la Plaza Mall and Glorietta 4.
TCI: P60,000.00
TV Programming:
A Week Packed with Stories on _________
_____________ presents another enriching week starting tomorrow, Nov. 15 as ________ lifestyle show presents informative, entertaining episodes at _______ AM / PM.
TCI: P30,000.00
Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR):
__________ Corporation recently presented the City of ___________ with 15 new boats to be used in the event of disasters. Present at the turnover were Vice President for Corporate Communications Mr / Ms ____________ and ________ City Mayor _________.......
TCI: Again, "Smiling Cash Money" is sufficient.
So, there you go....just to be clear with everybody: I AM FOR SALE. I'm easy: I want to go on junkets to Hollywood or Guam, I want to be photographed with the most beautiful men and women of the Philippines, I want my Main Event at press conferences, I want to be able to attack and defend public figures in scandals, I want my own column in one of the dailies. My God, I just want to be the next famous columnist and...and... if this is fine with God, I'd like to eventually run for public office.
Possibly, my only regret in all of these is that I missed the elections. I could have done this astroturf ("campaigns that are formally planned by an organization, but are disguised as spontaneous, popular "grassroots" behavior") campaign by Manny Villar's (obviously) camp in my sleep:
The Youth Who Call Themselves 'Orangeneration'
The Philippine Star December 04, 2009
MANILA, Philippines - "What can be so special about orange?” one tends to ask after coming across a 5,000-strong national youth movement named “Orangeneration,” whose numbers are growing fast across the breadth and length of the archipelago.
They were in Quezon City, Pasig, Cainta, Taytay, Angono and up to Montalban, Rizal at the height of Typhoon Ondoy, conducting rescue and relief operations. They were also the first...
Funny that you can smell a "faxed-job" (my term describing those PR campaigns sent by fax) a mile away because a piece does not have a byline.
That's okay if I missed the elections as I'm ready and determined to make up for lost pay. Now, I happen to be a thief with some honor. So, this is what I promise you my dear loyal, gullible reader: I will disclose to you whatever I make on this enterprise. If I'm feeling a little generous, I just may give 10% to charity.
Where's my conscience, did I just hear someone ask? The indifferent majority do not care if there is corruption in the media. They're already programmed to accept malfeasance in all aspects of Philippine society. I'm sure they'll be "shocked, shocked" to know there's dirty money on the 6:30 news. As for me? I guess one gets desensitized to something when it's part of one's environment.
Democracy - a proper working democracy - defined as "form of government in which governing power is derived from the people" will only work if it has a citizenry that is active and involved. One of the ways for them to be involved is if they are informed and enlightened. Am I blaming the news media for the current state we are in? Partly. Are we getting the right information that's important for responsible citizenship? You tell me: Is there any depth in the reporting found in the evening news, the print media and on radio? Can you honestly say it's not infotainment...show biz-type news you're receiving?
In theory, this is how a component of democracy should work: Media uncovers misconduct, is able to report it freely, citizenry gets involved, wrongdoing is stopped, responsible people incarcerated, vigilance raised, wash, rinse, repeat... You have the time? Click here to find a recent example of this.
Now, I understand I'm ruffling a few feathers with what I'm doing. You in the media may want to keep fooling the public with your lies (Attack) so I'm willing to back-off with a pay-off (Collect). Price: P500,000.00. See, I'm getting good at this.
By the way, to those interested? Yes, I'm willing to sleep with anybody. Price: P30,000.00.
Here's someone who does not understand our plight:
Part 1
Part 2
Probably, the only way to close this piece:
*excerpted from "News for Sale" The Corruption & Commercialization of the Philippine Media" by Chay Florentino-Hofileña
`Surely not,' she said.
`Oh yes,' he said.
`Well, I wouldn't,' she said.
`Oh yes you would. For instance, would you sleep with me for... for a million pounds?'
`Well,' she said, `maybe for a million I would, yes.'
`Would you do it for ten shillings?' said Bernard Shaw.
`Certainly not!' said the woman `What do you take me for? A prostitute?'
`Madam, we've established that already,' said Bernard Shaw. `We're just trying to fix your price now.'
My wife, that would be Kelly, complained why I have to call it "whores" and not a more generic phrase like, "We've All Got A Price" or something as innocuous. Look, I'm desperate to get readers. "Whore" seems, I don't know, controversial and seems to make for bad publicity. And, as any astute Filipino knows, there's no such thing as "bad publicity."
I once wrote Jessica Zafra an email that was both affectionate:
I belong to the generation (39 years old, middle-class, educated, etc.) that adored your Today columns. Yes, I remember 1994. You were able to put to words our feelings, fears....ok, bit too dramatic - more like angst. I still remember reading "Worldwide Domination" that year. I once almost went up to say hi when a friend and I spotted you at a cafe in Megamall in '95.
and critical:
Am quite surprised about the stuff you've been writing about. I left (1995) when you were angry, hopeful, funny and biting. I can still see that part of you in your writing but it's overshadowed by someone who has joined the establishment.
Did I feel betrayed by someone I looked up to? You do, when you see that person hawking Adora in The Philippine Star. But, that was before I became poor and started learning about "envelopmental journalism." You see, sorry for you and good for me if you're not aware, but Philippine media seems to be largely...how do I delicately say this, "corrupt." Now...now, corruption is all relative, am I correct? What could be considered corrupt in..let's say...Norway... may not necessarily be wrong here.
Let's just say that the...okay, let's compromise here... "Western" definition for corruption is, "abuse of public power, office, or resources by government officials or employees for personal gain, e.g. by extortion, soliciting or offering bribes."
Now, consider these glossary of terms used to describe....ehem...transactions in Philippine journalism*:
AC-DC For attack-collect-defend-collect. A kind of journalism where the reporter attacks a person in order to collect money from that person's rival or enemy. The same journalist then defends the person originally attacked, also for a fee. MY NOTE: Uproarious.
ATM journalism Refers to reporters who receive discreet and regular pay-offs through their automated teller machine (ATM) accounts. News sources simply deposit cash into these accounts instead of issuing checks or handing the money over to the journalists in envelopes. Often, the accounts are in the names of relatives, rather than of the reporters themselves. ATM journalism became popular in the 1990s, taking over from the more simple "envelopmental journalism" that took place in the 1970s and '80s.
Ayos As in "fix," the act of bribing reporters either with money or other gifts like late-night entertainment.
Bicycle Gang Refers to the contacts of politicians in television news desks who ensure that video footage of candidates barnstorming in the provinces is circulated to the different TV networks by a messenger riding a bike.
Blood Money A pay-off to ensure that a story or critical article is killed or else slanted in the briber's favor before publication. This is different from "smiling money".
Bukol From the Tagalog word that means a bump, usually on the head. A reporter gets a "bukol" or is considered "nabukulan" if he or she fails to get a share of the largesse being distributed by politicians and other news sources whom they cover.
Didal Refers to the practice of media handlers pocketing for themselves a part of the money intended for distribution to reporters. For example, if a party's media bureau sets aside a P2,000 allowance for each of the reporters covering an event, the media staff would distribute only P1,000 to P1,500 and keep the rest. The reporters in this case consider themselves "nadidal."
Envelopmental journalism A take on "developmental journalism," which became popular in the 1970s. Journalism is deemed "envelopmental" if it involves an envelope of cash paid to journalists to sway their reporting.
Hao Siao A derogatory term used to refer to pseudo-journalists, those not employed by a reputable news organization but pass themselves off as journalists in order to cash in on payoffs and bribes made by news sources, particularly during elections.
Inteligensia Cash given as bribe or protection money to the police, a part of which goes to journalists covering the police department. Some reporters have begun using the term to refer to the regular payments that they get from law enforcers.
Main Event Refers to the act of distributing cash to journalists. A press conference or news coverage is not deemed over until the cash is dispensed -- this is considered the "main event."
Orbit Like planets revolving around the sun, reporters also make the rounds of offices, particularly the police stations, to get their weekly payola. The term may also refer to any effort to visit offices for the purpose of soliciting money from news sources.
Placement The position or department within the media bureau of a government agency or company that is in charge of ensuring that press releases are sent to news offices and published or aired when they should be. While there are PR professionals who do the job, some journalists are hired to ensure "placement' as well. Some journalists also moonlight as writers for candidates, ensuring placement by making appeals to their friends in newspapers and broadcast agencies.
Point Man A reporter or editor working in a news organization but who is also paid by a candidate or political party to ensure that press releases are published or aired and also to warn the candidate of negative stories emanating from rival camps.
Smiling Money Cash that is given to reporters or editors for no particular reason except to create goodwill between a source and the journalists. It can also be used to refer to a payoff given after the publication of a positive story, supposedly as a gesture of the source's appreciation.
Tigbas Cebuano word for "cut", used to refer to a hatchet job. MY NOTE: My gulay, even the those loveable Cebuanos are in on it.
Now, with the plight I'm in: rent to pay, tuition to an exclusive all-girl's school, one of the highest electricity rates in the world, gymnastics classes, P300.00 movie tickets, car mortgage, househelp, gas, etc., I completely understand that I was being naively critical of you, Ms. Zafra.
No, I'm not saying that Jessica Zafra is corrupt. Fact is, she's probably just obligated by her paper to tout in her column the companies that advertise. Somehow, though, I have a feeling she's not too happy about that. I'd like to think that she's someone who does not accept anything for her coverage.
Ethical dilemmas, though, are raised: Is it okay to push products through opinion writers? If it's not a good product, do you still come up with a positive review? If the advertiser is guilty of some wrongdoing, will objectivity still be possible?
I'm sure those are weighty issues worth tackling...by somebody. As for me, I want to be known as the Bond, James Bond of Philippine media. Cause now I have the License to Shill (Was that good? That's the kind of writing, I have observed, that could get me a regular gig in the Lifestyle section of a daily). Yes, screw principles. Call me the Congressman of principles: "Heck, everybody's doing it why shouldn't I."
As a lot of my fellow Filipinos know, principles mean nothing when you're hungry for a Dad's cross-over buffet, you want a nice vacation in Singapore for the wifey and the little brats, college education at a non-State university, an extra car (or two), maybe a driver...and...and an extra helper (or two) to look after the afore-mentioned brats. Also, I can no longer stand the shame of still being partly supported by my parents and brother-in-law.
I'm glad I live in a society that has lowered its moral benchmark (speaking of Bench: I'm willing to cover your sexy events for free. Just don't tell the others) that I don't feel so dirty accepting envelopes of cash or deposits into my ATM (please see my account number below).
So, PR and Placement people: Listen up, these are the things we can do to my blog:
Vacation:
Here we are enjoying our stay at the wonderful (Your resort here:__________. Price: Three nights minimum stay, airfare for four, transfers, free meals and P15,000.00 allowance).
We were met by the wonderful General Manager (Price: P2,000.00) and his lovely assistant (P1,000.00). It was the most relaxing time. ___________ Resort (P7,000.00) really is a gorgeous place. My, did we have such enchanting memories on our trip home.
Total Cash Involved: P25,000.00
Political:
_________ Says Doctors Should Be Paid More
Sen._________ is batting for higher compensation for doctors to encourage them to stay and practice their profession in the country.
_________ noted that a lot of doctors have opted to become nurses....
Total Cash Involved (TCI): Guys, I'm willing to work "Smiling Cash Money." I'm not that greedy.
Good Old-Fashioned Peddling:
The 2010 holiday collection of _____________ (P30,000.00) studies the complex and intricate relationship between women and shoes. This ranges from the perspective of sexuality, culture , psychological to feminism studies, providing us with insight into women's desire for shoes. Sigmund Freud said....
___________ is available at Greenbelt 5, Power Plant Mall, Shangri-la Plaza Mall and Glorietta 4.
TCI: P60,000.00
TV Programming:
A Week Packed with Stories on _________
_____________ presents another enriching week starting tomorrow, Nov. 15 as ________ lifestyle show presents informative, entertaining episodes at _______ AM / PM.
TCI: P30,000.00
Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR):
__________ Corporation recently presented the City of ___________ with 15 new boats to be used in the event of disasters. Present at the turnover were Vice President for Corporate Communications Mr / Ms ____________ and ________ City Mayor _________.......
TCI: Again, "Smiling Cash Money" is sufficient.
So, there you go....just to be clear with everybody: I AM FOR SALE. I'm easy: I want to go on junkets to Hollywood or Guam, I want to be photographed with the most beautiful men and women of the Philippines, I want my Main Event at press conferences, I want to be able to attack and defend public figures in scandals, I want my own column in one of the dailies. My God, I just want to be the next famous columnist and...and... if this is fine with God, I'd like to eventually run for public office.
Possibly, my only regret in all of these is that I missed the elections. I could have done this astroturf ("campaigns that are formally planned by an organization, but are disguised as spontaneous, popular "grassroots" behavior") campaign by Manny Villar's (obviously) camp in my sleep:
The Youth Who Call Themselves 'Orangeneration'
The Philippine Star December 04, 2009
MANILA, Philippines - "What can be so special about orange?” one tends to ask after coming across a 5,000-strong national youth movement named “Orangeneration,” whose numbers are growing fast across the breadth and length of the archipelago.
They were in Quezon City, Pasig, Cainta, Taytay, Angono and up to Montalban, Rizal at the height of Typhoon Ondoy, conducting rescue and relief operations. They were also the first...
Funny that you can smell a "faxed-job" (my term describing those PR campaigns sent by fax) a mile away because a piece does not have a byline.
That's okay if I missed the elections as I'm ready and determined to make up for lost pay. Now, I happen to be a thief with some honor. So, this is what I promise you my dear loyal, gullible reader: I will disclose to you whatever I make on this enterprise. If I'm feeling a little generous, I just may give 10% to charity.
Where's my conscience, did I just hear someone ask? The indifferent majority do not care if there is corruption in the media. They're already programmed to accept malfeasance in all aspects of Philippine society. I'm sure they'll be "shocked, shocked" to know there's dirty money on the 6:30 news. As for me? I guess one gets desensitized to something when it's part of one's environment.
Democracy - a proper working democracy - defined as "form of government in which governing power is derived from the people" will only work if it has a citizenry that is active and involved. One of the ways for them to be involved is if they are informed and enlightened. Am I blaming the news media for the current state we are in? Partly. Are we getting the right information that's important for responsible citizenship? You tell me: Is there any depth in the reporting found in the evening news, the print media and on radio? Can you honestly say it's not infotainment...show biz-type news you're receiving?
In theory, this is how a component of democracy should work: Media uncovers misconduct, is able to report it freely, citizenry gets involved, wrongdoing is stopped, responsible people incarcerated, vigilance raised, wash, rinse, repeat... You have the time? Click here to find a recent example of this.
Now, I understand I'm ruffling a few feathers with what I'm doing. You in the media may want to keep fooling the public with your lies (Attack) so I'm willing to back-off with a pay-off (Collect). Price: P500,000.00. See, I'm getting good at this.
By the way, to those interested? Yes, I'm willing to sleep with anybody. Price: P30,000.00.
Here's someone who does not understand our plight:
Part 1
Part 2
Probably, the only way to close this piece:
*excerpted from "News for Sale" The Corruption & Commercialization of the Philippine Media" by Chay Florentino-Hofileña
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Incendiary Minds: Part 1
A positive thing that stands out from having lived abroad for 14 years is the fact that I was exposed to different thoughts and ideas. I truly understood the "out-of-the box" cliche...to start thinking and more importantly, I believe, to question my own beliefs.
I pretty much "woke up" in 2003 - brought about by the (still) incredulous invasion of Iraq. This made me realize a number of things: human beings are easily manipulated (see George Orwell's seminal "1984"), we do not know everything, most of us are "asleep," religion has its negatives, we are basically selfish creatures, among others. I had read somewhere that 29 years old is the age when a person's beliefs are galvanized - I suppose I, being a late bloomer, was four years late.
What do I label myself now? I think I've narrowed it down to a progressive, pacifist, radical, liberal, anarcho (no enforced authority), Socialist Democrat, Christian. A mouthful and also contradictory, I agree.
Of all the definitions given for Socialism the one I identify most with is this given by the writer Howard Zinn: "Socialism basically said, hey, let's have a kinder, gentler society. Let's share things. Let's have an economic system that produces things not because they're profitable for some corporation, but produces things that people need."
It was also during this period - curious why a "Christian" nation would advocate war - that I decided to read the four gospels to find out for myself what Jesus Christ stood for. I came to the conclusion that if he lived in the present, he'd be labeled an iconoclastic, radical, left-leaning troublemaker. That it is not the conservatives, who have co-opted Christianity, that Jesus would most probably be comfortable with. That it was the conservatives (who were violently opposed to the change he was proposing) of his time that had him killed.
Zinn, who passed away early this year, became famous for having written a history of the U.S. from the perspective of the common people and not from the political and economic elite (read " A People's History of the United States"). His chapter on the American occupation of the Philippines is revelatory - a precursor to its involvement in Vietnam and Iraq.
The U.S. - because of the freedoms it holds dearly - is startlingly diverse. It is home not just to nut jobs from the left and the right but, more importantly, to wide-open, compassionate people like Zinn, Noam Chomsky and even an envelope-pushing comedian like Bill Hicks.
The Philippines will benefit greatly if more out-of-the-box thinkers emerge and be an influence on the country. I think we've collectively settled into a rut...into a fixed false belief that the current system that was handed down to us, the ideas we hold on to...is the only way.
Howard Zinn, when asked what he wanted to be remembered for said, "I guess if I want to be remembered for anything, it’s for introducing a different way of thinking about the world, about war, about human rights, about equality, for getting more and more people to think that way.
I pretty much "woke up" in 2003 - brought about by the (still) incredulous invasion of Iraq. This made me realize a number of things: human beings are easily manipulated (see George Orwell's seminal "1984"), we do not know everything, most of us are "asleep," religion has its negatives, we are basically selfish creatures, among others. I had read somewhere that 29 years old is the age when a person's beliefs are galvanized - I suppose I, being a late bloomer, was four years late.
What do I label myself now? I think I've narrowed it down to a progressive, pacifist, radical, liberal, anarcho (no enforced authority), Socialist Democrat, Christian. A mouthful and also contradictory, I agree.
Of all the definitions given for Socialism the one I identify most with is this given by the writer Howard Zinn: "Socialism basically said, hey, let's have a kinder, gentler society. Let's share things. Let's have an economic system that produces things not because they're profitable for some corporation, but produces things that people need."
It was also during this period - curious why a "Christian" nation would advocate war - that I decided to read the four gospels to find out for myself what Jesus Christ stood for. I came to the conclusion that if he lived in the present, he'd be labeled an iconoclastic, radical, left-leaning troublemaker. That it is not the conservatives, who have co-opted Christianity, that Jesus would most probably be comfortable with. That it was the conservatives (who were violently opposed to the change he was proposing) of his time that had him killed.
Zinn, who passed away early this year, became famous for having written a history of the U.S. from the perspective of the common people and not from the political and economic elite (read " A People's History of the United States"). His chapter on the American occupation of the Philippines is revelatory - a precursor to its involvement in Vietnam and Iraq.
The U.S. - because of the freedoms it holds dearly - is startlingly diverse. It is home not just to nut jobs from the left and the right but, more importantly, to wide-open, compassionate people like Zinn, Noam Chomsky and even an envelope-pushing comedian like Bill Hicks.
The Philippines will benefit greatly if more out-of-the-box thinkers emerge and be an influence on the country. I think we've collectively settled into a rut...into a fixed false belief that the current system that was handed down to us, the ideas we hold on to...is the only way.
Howard Zinn, when asked what he wanted to be remembered for said, "I guess if I want to be remembered for anything, it’s for introducing a different way of thinking about the world, about war, about human rights, about equality, for getting more and more people to think that way.
Also, for getting more people to realize that the power which rests so far in the hands of people with wealth and guns, that the power ultimately rests in people themselves and that they can use it. At certain points in history, they have used it. Black people in the South used it. People in the women’s movement used it. People in the anti-war movement used it. People in other countries who have overthrown tyrannies have used it.
I want to be remembered as somebody who gave people a feeling of hope and power that they didn’t have before."
When asked about his philosophy: "I believe, I suppose, in what could be called democratic socialism. I believe that we need a society where the motive for the economic system is not corporate profit, but the motive is the welfare of people, health care, jobs, child care, and so on. But that is dominant. Where there is a greater equalization of wealth and a society which is peaceful, which devotes its resources to helping people in the country and elsewhere.
I believe in a world where war is no longer the recourse for the settling of grievances and problems. I believe in the wiping out of national boundaries.
I don’t believe in visas and passports and immigration quotas. I think we need to move toward a global society. They use the word “globalization,” but they use it in a very narrow sense to mean the freedom of corporations to move across boundaries. But what we need is a freedom of people and things to move across boundaries."
His advise to us: "Think for yourself. Don't believe what the people up there tell you. Don't depend on saviors...or our leaders to do what must be done." 'nuff said. Howard Zinn, may you keep fighting the good fight wherever you are.
We Don't Do Concerted
"Noy" has been chosen by the Film Academy of the Philippines (FAP) as the country's entry to the Best Foreign Language Film at the 83rd Academy Awards. Have seen but I won't do an in-depth review of it as there are better writers who have done very good pieces on it: Here and here. In a word, though, it's embarrassing.
It seems to have been a heartfelt and sincere project that, however, manages to come off as immature and naive. Sincerity, I suppose, doesn't make for great art. What stands out:
- It preaches about taking a critical view of personalities including a character admonishing Coco Martin's journalist protagonist for not having a discerning view of the subject he is covering while the movie, meanwhile, itself gives a "kid gloves" treatment of Noynoy Aquino. The term "irony" seems too frail a word.
- It's unintentionally funny in spots: A mad scene involving drugs and blindness, a skimpily dressed Erich Gonzales showing up at rallies and Ondoy-ravaged areas and a denouement that has to be seen to be believed.
It really reminds me of those anti-communist propaganda pieces that Hollywood came up with in the 50's and those Christian movies that are now in vogue: Made with the best intentions. I suppose the road to movie hell is paved with the best you-know-what.
This film will not make it to the final five nominees. I guarantee that. I'll eat a Jollibee Yumburger (I'm semi-vegetarian) if it did. It's a puzzling choice. Was this postcard-to-the-President of a film chosen as a favor to Noynoy Aquino? If it did, then it just confirmed that the film failed in its quest to send a message: The movie itself rails against the Filipino trait of currying favors.
Have not seen other Filipino films this year but have read reviews that seemed to indicate there are better ones out there. Jowana Bueser does a good piece, too, on the prospects of "Noy."
Action director and member of the special committee of FAP that chose "Noy," Jose Carreon, wrote a piece entitled "Mission Impossible" describing our history at the Oscars. Is it really impossible? With all due respect, Mr. Carreon, it is not:
It'll take a JFK-esque "Man on the Moon" effort, though. It'll have to be a goal of the administration to come up with a program that will lead to an Oscar for the country. Looking at what we have: From the government side - Film Development Council of the Philippines (FDCP), Film Academy of the Philippines and the National Commission for Culture and the Arts and from the non-government - Cinemalaya, Mowelfund, etc....I think we have the structure for it.
The FDCP can be tasked with taking the lead on this project. The new chairman, filmmaker Briccio Santos, has indicated that he is an out-of-the-box thinker.
Like business incubators that act to "accelerate the successful development of entrepreneurial companies through an array of business support resources and services, developed and orchestrated...through network of contacts" this project would address both the business and creative side of filmmaking.
Creatively, it would be free from political interference and be composed of inventive individuals from a broad spectrum: writers, directors, composers, actors....Taking cue from the Sundance Lab, this project must be a collaborative effort from seasoned artists to emerging talents. To be honest, there is a limited number of true talent here in all fields.
A script would be chosen that others would work on. Ample time will be given to the development of the script and the project - without it having to be rushed because of a local festival playdate. What should the film be about? It does not have to be a historical epic. It, however, must have something new to say and be reflective of who we are: the good, the bad and the in-between. It cannot be a travelogue. Take a stroll through past nominees and you'll encounter cinema that's controversial, courageous and groundbreaking.
Financially, it will have to be seen as a moneymaking venture. Outside financing (from the US and Europe) is an option. Importantly, the scope project should not be dictated by the budget. The budget must adhere to the wishes of the project.
Why must we do all these? Can film...or a triumph in a cinematic pageant...transform a nation? No, it's not a silver bullet but, rather, it is a step...one of thousands this country will need. "Art" says that the human being being is capable of coming up with work that is creative, imaginative and powerful. Imagine what this could do to a people that lack pride in themselves?
Can we pull this off? I once was witness to a group of men whose task was to move items for the company I work for. It was five guys and a leader who were well aware that it was a glass cabinet being moved and that extra care was needed. I could sense, however, that they were not working as a team - that some of the individuals didn't seem to have full focus on the task at hand. The leader- who may not have sensed this - did nothing to correct this. True enough, it eventually led to a glass door being shattered.
Can we, as Filipinos, work selflessly together? Do we have the capacity to not bicker and squabble? Would be truly a great subject for the film's "making of," wouldn't it?
One thing that stood in "Noy" was the performance of the truly gifted Baron Geisler. His portrayal of a world-weary editor gave the film some much needed depth. In a perfect world, more quality movies would be made with him starring in a number of them. In the world we live in, he's stuck in minor roles in middling films. Truly, a waste of Filipino talent.
Now, if we do decide that the route I prescribed would be the best way to get an Oscar I've got this sure-fire script that's a cinch. It's all about this.......
It seems to have been a heartfelt and sincere project that, however, manages to come off as immature and naive. Sincerity, I suppose, doesn't make for great art. What stands out:
- It preaches about taking a critical view of personalities including a character admonishing Coco Martin's journalist protagonist for not having a discerning view of the subject he is covering while the movie, meanwhile, itself gives a "kid gloves" treatment of Noynoy Aquino. The term "irony" seems too frail a word.
- It's unintentionally funny in spots: A mad scene involving drugs and blindness, a skimpily dressed Erich Gonzales showing up at rallies and Ondoy-ravaged areas and a denouement that has to be seen to be believed.
It really reminds me of those anti-communist propaganda pieces that Hollywood came up with in the 50's and those Christian movies that are now in vogue: Made with the best intentions. I suppose the road to movie hell is paved with the best you-know-what.
This film will not make it to the final five nominees. I guarantee that. I'll eat a Jollibee Yumburger (I'm semi-vegetarian) if it did. It's a puzzling choice. Was this postcard-to-the-President of a film chosen as a favor to Noynoy Aquino? If it did, then it just confirmed that the film failed in its quest to send a message: The movie itself rails against the Filipino trait of currying favors.
Have not seen other Filipino films this year but have read reviews that seemed to indicate there are better ones out there. Jowana Bueser does a good piece, too, on the prospects of "Noy."
Action director and member of the special committee of FAP that chose "Noy," Jose Carreon, wrote a piece entitled "Mission Impossible" describing our history at the Oscars. Is it really impossible? With all due respect, Mr. Carreon, it is not:
It'll take a JFK-esque "Man on the Moon" effort, though. It'll have to be a goal of the administration to come up with a program that will lead to an Oscar for the country. Looking at what we have: From the government side - Film Development Council of the Philippines (FDCP), Film Academy of the Philippines and the National Commission for Culture and the Arts and from the non-government - Cinemalaya, Mowelfund, etc....I think we have the structure for it.
The FDCP can be tasked with taking the lead on this project. The new chairman, filmmaker Briccio Santos, has indicated that he is an out-of-the-box thinker.
Like business incubators that act to "accelerate the successful development of entrepreneurial companies through an array of business support resources and services, developed and orchestrated...through network of contacts" this project would address both the business and creative side of filmmaking.
Creatively, it would be free from political interference and be composed of inventive individuals from a broad spectrum: writers, directors, composers, actors....Taking cue from the Sundance Lab, this project must be a collaborative effort from seasoned artists to emerging talents. To be honest, there is a limited number of true talent here in all fields.
A script would be chosen that others would work on. Ample time will be given to the development of the script and the project - without it having to be rushed because of a local festival playdate. What should the film be about? It does not have to be a historical epic. It, however, must have something new to say and be reflective of who we are: the good, the bad and the in-between. It cannot be a travelogue. Take a stroll through past nominees and you'll encounter cinema that's controversial, courageous and groundbreaking.
Financially, it will have to be seen as a moneymaking venture. Outside financing (from the US and Europe) is an option. Importantly, the scope project should not be dictated by the budget. The budget must adhere to the wishes of the project.
Why must we do all these? Can film...or a triumph in a cinematic pageant...transform a nation? No, it's not a silver bullet but, rather, it is a step...one of thousands this country will need. "Art" says that the human being being is capable of coming up with work that is creative, imaginative and powerful. Imagine what this could do to a people that lack pride in themselves?
Can we pull this off? I once was witness to a group of men whose task was to move items for the company I work for. It was five guys and a leader who were well aware that it was a glass cabinet being moved and that extra care was needed. I could sense, however, that they were not working as a team - that some of the individuals didn't seem to have full focus on the task at hand. The leader- who may not have sensed this - did nothing to correct this. True enough, it eventually led to a glass door being shattered.
Can we, as Filipinos, work selflessly together? Do we have the capacity to not bicker and squabble? Would be truly a great subject for the film's "making of," wouldn't it?
One thing that stood in "Noy" was the performance of the truly gifted Baron Geisler. His portrayal of a world-weary editor gave the film some much needed depth. In a perfect world, more quality movies would be made with him starring in a number of them. In the world we live in, he's stuck in minor roles in middling films. Truly, a waste of Filipino talent.
Now, if we do decide that the route I prescribed would be the best way to get an Oscar I've got this sure-fire script that's a cinch. It's all about this.......
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