When I Own a Hummer and Because You Can....

Sometimes these emails are hard to write and some are just gifts from God.  Thank goodness for some people on this earth, consider this piece manna.   

Last week saw me witness an elderly foreigner rebuke a bank teller for her having been asked to move from the preferred lane to another.  It was all a misunderstanding really - prompted by Filipinos not being clear in their instructions - but, it was in his reaction that I was appalled.  

He'd obviously felt slighted - "I'm a preferred client!" - and protested in a rather loud manner.  I was reeeaaally tempted to give him my caring advise, but, decided to withhold and instead left a note addressed to him..."I wish you'd done so in a loving manner.....Filipinos have yet to learn the fine art of excellent customer service, but, they're the nicest people....I've learned that when in Rome, do as the Romans do...."  Yup, funny stuff.  

This exchange was reminiscent of another I was a spectator to - a man berating personnel at Toyota for their slow service.  Again, he may have been right, but, it was the manner that caught my attention - loud and insulting.  

"Mando" is a term used by Filipinos and has its Spanish origin of "control."  It's a direct descendant of our feudal past that those in "power" - the rich and famous and those who look rich and famous - are given the free rein to do what they want - like it's their inherent right.....witness politicians, for example.   

Sometimes it's obvious - the above stories - and most of the time it's subtle...."sir, ma'am, po, opo..."

It's a universal phenom, too, don't worry as an ongoing behavioral experiment at UC Berkeley showed these highlights:

- A rigged game of Monopoly showed that the person "destined" to win became louder, more demonstrative and even consumed more of the chips that were on the table.  

- People driving more expensive cars generally ignored people at pedestrian lanes.

A piece written about the study concluded that "wealth and status seemed to increase one's sense of entitlement (and more likely to prioritize self-interest over the interest of others) while simultaneously decreasing one's empathy and concern for others."   

Fyi, a fascinating 16 minute talk by one of the researchers is on TedTalks - it's a must watch and is here. 

With the oh so subservient masses here, it's oh so easy for things to get to your head.  I can see that it's easy to act like a jerk....because one, simply, can.  

I guess the key is to know now what kind of person you'll be once you've become a deliriously wealthy individual.  The world, too, is filled with philanthropists - Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are the famous ones - who don't let what they have go to their head.     

I suppose one day I'll own a Hummer (ahhh, probably not), but, I'll sure hope to keep in mind to still stop at crosswalks and should I forget?  Please remind me what a jerk I've become.  I'll thank you for it.

Written October 12, 2014  

The Road Not Taken

My Dad once asked a Filipino BPO exec why Indians were more successful (at that time) than Filipinos as far as outsourcing is concerned.  His reply?  He'd noticed that during tradeshows, the Indians would go around and press the flesh while the Pinoys were just hanging out at their booths.  

That anecdote reminded me of something that happened recently.  You see, I've been lobbying to get young adult (YA) literature made by Filipinos out there.  Infamously, my kids are voracious readers and it'd pain me seeing them not working on books put out by local writers.  

Why can't they be reading stories about kids their age through the eyes of the Filipino - why not our own Harry Potter, for example?  

On the side:  The number one overall best-seller at Fully Booked are children's books (no need for a Harvard study to figure this out:  they've the time, energy and their parents' money) and, yet, the all-time top local title is a non-fiction on the justice system.

Obviously, the publishers are not doing their homework, right?  

Getting back:  My aforementioned lobbying got me into a conversation with an upstart publisher and I'd convinced him enough that he asked for authors I could recommend.  I'd recalled one I'd written to and thought I'd hook up again and I'll share here a bit of our exchange:

Jay:  Hi, I'd pushed an upstart publisher to check into coming up with YA books and he seemed interested and he'd asked if I knew of any authors he can speak with about it.

I understand it's not your genre, but, hey thought you'd at least be interested to find out about it.  I've read a bit of what you do and it seems to me there's something there that could fill that niche. 

Author:  Thank you for thinking of me, but I'll pass for now.  Will keep this in mind though!

My initial thought:  If I'd asked JK Rowling the same question 19 years ago, am sure she'd not have said, "I'll pass for now." 

 

The difference, I think, is this:  Ms. Rowling was a divorced mother to a very young child and was very, very poor - she's described her economic status as being "poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless."

Of course, it's more complicated than that - a mixture of socio-economic reasons - but, I do know it's become inherent in the nature of other cultures to go and seize opportunities and be trailblazers.   

I'm reminded of that Robert Frost poem Kara picked out for an assignment: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. 

At this point, we say goodbye to Lincoln who, himself, took the difficult road to keep the US united:

XIV.  Influence People Through Conversation and Storytelling

- Speak in simple and familiar strains with people, without any pretension of superiority.  Leave people with the feeling that they've known you all their lives.  

- Don't forget that humor is a major component of your ability to persuade people.  

- Remember that people are more easily influenced through the medium of a broad and humorous illustration than in any other way.  

- You will often avoid a long and useless discussion by others or a laborious explanation on your own part by a short story that illustrates your point of view. 

Written October 5, 2014

Giving the Secret to Getting Ahead?

There's a very long piece from the NY Times (here if you're really interested) and the gist of it is that research has shown that sharing one's self towards altruistic goals - helping colleagues, mentoring, giving, caring etc. - actually nets positive results.  

It's a mixture of making yourself feel good and people wanting to deal with you - business-wise, at work - because of them actually liking you.

Some successful brands - The Body Shop, Human Nature, Toms come to mind - have, in fact, made benevolence part of their DNA.  

I'd reflected on that and realized two very recent examples:

- Our partnership with the cosmetics brand Ellana had started out on the basis of my Dad, Diego - my brother - and I wanting to just help out on some concerns Theresa, the owner, had with her business.  It had eventually turned into several sessions and into the realization that she'd a strong business with great potential and was someone we'd like to work with.  

 

- I'd gotten to know Fanny, our HR Head for our HR resources firm, as someone we'd contacted, through my brother, as the headhunter for a position we were trying to fill.  It had been a long process and through it had gotten to know her - solely by phone.  Towards the end, she'd shared her recent resignation after an arduous experience.  I'd offered to meet for lunch to offer support and encouragement.  

The scheduled one hour lunch stretched and with us hitting it off - reaching the conclusion she'd be perfect for us.  

It was no surprise, therefore, that her reply to my asking her recently what she thinks her reason for existence is was "to help others."

It'd reminded me of that line I'd shared a few posts back:  "Discover gifts, passions and purpose in life so you can help others  Happiness comes as a result."

And now, a few more leadership pointers from Lincoln:

XIII.  Encourage Innovation

- Don't lose confidence in your people when they fail. 

- Let your subordinates know that you are always glad to have their suggestions.  

- If you never try, you'll never succeed.

- Remember that the best leaders never stop learning.  

Written September 28, 2014