Revisiting Empathy

Recently, a business leader I know had shared deeply – crying even – her feelings for people under her.  Wracked by guilt, perhaps, she’d bared how she felt that things were unfair for them.  It was a continuation of her leadership style that has endeared her immensely to those around. 

It had been an emotional outpouring that I’d not witnessed in 14 years of being abroad and was clearly indicative of the stark contrast between the Philippines and Western society.  While the latter reduced almost everything to “zeroes and ones,” the country I’ve called home the past six years has made it all about soul. 

It was empathy, of course, that got her to react that way.  The word that, funnily, seems to have no direct translation into Filipino.  Google translates it to makiramay….that’d be sympathy, of course.   

“Avid” readers of my pieces know that it’s been a recurring theme during my time here.  Lately, though, empathy’s been getting a lot more airplay. 

I’d read about Steve Kerr – rookie coach and whose Golden State Warriors will be playing in the NBA’s finals this week – and how he attributed his leadership skills to his scholar father and having lived and experienced life in countries with poverty. 

A line from it:  The lessons imparted at home and the experiences gained overseas -- "They all got thrown into bathwater and survived," Ann (Steve’s mother) said -- combined to shape Kerr's worldview, foster a sense of empathy and sharpen his interpersonal skills.

chatsports.com

His father would eventually be gunned down in Beirut in 1984 and Steve would go on and channel what he gained to five championships as a player.  It’s a great piece and is worth checking out. 

It mirrors what I’d shared with the executive director of Kara’s school in a talk I’d been asked to give.  I’d revealed how these past six years have been the best of my life - primary the fact that empathy became something Kelly, my wife, finally understood. 

I’d said that it’d been difficult to talk about it in a society too busy figuring out which brand corned beef to buy from the other 19 at that grocery shelf.  “More meaty!!”

Counterintuitively, perhaps, but am truly glad we’re living in a country with great poverty – it does give one a chance to do even a little something about it.  Thus, burdening one with that all-important sense of purpose. 

Kelly, now, has developed dexterity in her communication with house help and has even taken on tutoring a 14 year old pro bono at a school for street kids. 

As for me?  It’s a continuing process, but, I think empathy’s made me a better leader, husband, father and friend.  Steve’s team takes on LeBron James’ Cavs on Thursday and so maybe I’ll catch a bit of the series – smiling as I understand a bit the road he is traveling on.