(A Lack Of) Sense And Sensitivity

or "How They See Us Part II"
or "The Balls and Chains Keeping Us Down Part III"

Went to sleep in Manila / woke up 15 years later in the same place / except now, it's Calcutta
                                                                            My vain attempt at being Bob Dylan

My words - believe it or not - fail me. Please watch these two first. I…just…might…recover…

Part 1:


Part 2:



I'd already started on a piece for this but sat on it and let it simmer for a month. Looked at it again and it felt like it was what it was: A viewpoint from an educated, upper middle-class, bleeding-heart liberal.

It talked about how I often took public transportation and actually felt like I was “among my people." "Crap," I agree with you. My ideology - just like others in this country - will never allow me to understand what most of the people in this country feel. We just may think we do.

I had said that “needless to say, there are two Philippines.” The one I belong to: The influential, know-it-all, predominantly conservative, comfortable, English-with-an-accent speaking better half and the voiceless, toothless (literally and figuratively), ill-educated and hungry other half.

The ideology of the first group will never allow it to see the reality of the second one. “Shame on my people,” I said. Another gem I came up with: “Ideology trumps reality.”

But, on repeated viewing of “City of Guilt” I realized – call it an epiphany – that I got it all wrong. So, this is the piece I should have written all along:

To ex-Mayor Lito Atienza: Thanks to you, I now know why there’s been an absence of fleas on my body: It’s the pesticide in the condom I’ve been using! No wonder. Suggestion to Trust’s marketing folks: “Hindi lang pang-proteksyon, pang-tanggal pa ng kuto!”

To Congressman Ed Zialcita: Don’t lose too much sleep trying to figure out ways of coming up with laws to make the country a better place. Your idea – which I think is brilliant – is to send most of us abroad, anyway. Don’t worry about it, we’ll be fine there.

In fact, we won’t stop you if you decide to get a job in Canada. Don’t worry, with your impeccable English, you’ll easily get a job.

Even better, I’ve realized that with all the lives lost in Japan and the Middle East, my wife’s excuses tonight will pale in comparison. My line: “Honey, you know, according to a great Congressman we’re the Slave Manufacturing Capital of the world. So, please get undressed because, tonight, we’re F***ING FOR JAPAN. BANZAI!!"

I mean, somebody's got to wipe the butts of the Western world.  Why shouldn't we do it?  Here’s a campaign for you, you humiliated Marketing people at the Tourism Department: “Come to the Philippines - the Slave Manufacturing Capital – and see how they are made! Feel free to make one yourself!”

And, lastly, to that guy who once said these: "Love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another," "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "Whatever you neglected to do unto one of these least of these, you neglected to do unto Me,"

Please hush.  Your ideology – great on paper, by the way – has no basis with reality. Your views are obviously nothing but the rantings of, yes, a crazed bleeding-heart liberal. Look at us: We have the power, but, we won’t care for and love each other. Please see the light as we have.

Here’s a warning, too: You come back here without changing your views...don't worry, we won't kill you again...we'll just laugh and mock you, once again. This time, though, it'll be live on primetime on TV5.