Alert: This Entry Talks About Resolutions

It's been a while. Yes, I know. It's quite a struggle coming up with these entries. The disparate thoughts are there. The fight comes with shaping them into something cohesive - without sounding like Ted Kaczynski. Ok, here goes a roller-coaster entry and let's see if we can tie it all together into a cogent one:

As part of our company's thrust to develop its personnel, we've come up with a monthly speaker program. It is, especially, something else seeing them respond so positively to the one conducted by a speaker from John Robert Powers.

It seems to have tapped something in them - in themselves - that was previously unknown to them. The speaker talked about "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs" where the pinnacle of this is self-actualization (self-realization) - "the need for purpose, personal growth and realization. The point where people start to become fully functional, acting purely on their own volition and having a healthy personality (deepermind.com)."

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who considered self-actualizing people to possess "an unusual ability to detect the spurious, the fake, and the dishonest in personality, and in general to judge people correctly and efficiently."

Common traits daw are:

- They embrace reality and facts rather than denying truth.
- They are spontaneous.
- They are "focused on problems outside themselves"
- They "can accept their own human nature in the stoic style, with all its shortcomings, are similarly acceptant of others, and generally lack prejudice."

You're asking at this point - and I don't blame you - "Ok, Dean Emeritus Jay Buenaflor, Phd, MBB, MBA, CRS, SUV, CVC, thanks for the lecture, but, what is this all about?" Naturally, this has something to do with the Philippines.

We'll start with a generalization of Filipinos and we'll later narrow it down to two names: Deepak and Minda (not her real name). After having lived and worked here for 16 months, this "psychologist's" short, short, and, by no means, complete take on the Filipino:

- We've been hard-wired to accept things the way they are. We will not question the "facts" that we grew up with and that have been given to us. "Is submissive to authority and is not likely to raise issues or to question decisions (Philippine Journal of Education, 1988)

- Focused on the lives of others: tsismis, showbiz tsismis ("Ok, blind item: Sino itong dating sikat na bold star na nakitang nagmumura sa harap ng ATM dahil walang pera na ang account?" My guess: Rosanna Roces).

"Crab mentality - Using tsismis, intriga and destructive criticism Another's gain is our loss." (ibid)

Contrast this with self-realization's "generally lack prejudice."

- Is passive and lacks initiative (contrast this with spontaneity): "Strong reliance on others, leaders and government to do things for us. Have a need for a strong authority figure - feel safer and more secure." (ibid)

- "Emphasis on form (porma) rather than on substance. Tendency to be satisfied with rhetoric and to substitute this for reality. As long as things are said, task forces and offices have been formed...deluded into believing that what ought to be already exists. (ibid away!)."

- The kicker: "Lack of self-analysis and self-reflection: Being superficial and flighty."

Just hit me now: Think about it. Look at the above. Isn't it partly why Marcos was able to stay in power so long? The "submissive, authority figure, form"? That's easy to figure out.

Think about superficial and flighty, though. Flighty, especially: "Given to unstable and mentally erratic behavior, characterized by irresponsible or silly behavior, easily excited, volatile, wandering, flirtatious, coquettish (thefreedictionary.com)."

My goodness, isn't that describing a Tita ? Doesn't that remind you of Imelda, too? Think about it: If she didn't exist, there'd have been somebody else.

Now, what happens when, God forbid, a person breaks out of this DNA set for the Filipino? This brings us to Minda, a colleague I work closely with. In her own words:

"I've leveled up...Before, I just used to come to work and not care about anything (walang paki-alam)...Now, I've been given responsibilities...I'm understand now what I can do...Before, I just would depend on others...Before, I just used to find happiness in the simplest things...mababaw ako...basta barkada, masaya na ako...Now, I think of the future and about being nice to others...selfish ako dati...I think, now, about why we are here...what my purpose is"

What happened? Minda lived most of her adult life dependent on money coming from her father living abroad - afflicted by a common ailment among Filipinos with support coming from abroad. Our own version of the Dutch Disease* The consequence being that her growth as an individual became stunted. Enter our company and our philosophy of personal development, accountability, creativity, etc.

An unintended consequence of this change, however has surfaced. She came up to me saying that she thinks she's losing her mind. That her thoughts are different now, she can't sleep, has been feeling mortal, is down to a cigarette a day and has asked if she should seek counseling.

I laughed it off, of course, letting her know that she is just physically manifesting the changes that are occuring to her. That she's on her way to becoming a better person. That she has reached, yes, self-realization.

It is rare, I told her, that people - especially, Filipinos - reach this point. Most of us go through life not asking, not questioning, not caring. What she's experiencing? It is, I told her, a gift and not a curse.

Now, we come to Deepak. That would be the self-help guru Deepak Chopra, of course. Came across an interview with him that I forwarded to her:

On New Year's resolutions: "I take stock every three or four months. Every four months or so, I take a week off to be in total silence, to look back and see what I should be looking at in the future. For me, it would be a quarterly ritual."

On making them stick: "Go beyond motivation and find true inspiration, then the resolutions will stick. So for me it's to go to a deeper level, and that's why I place so much importance on this idea of silence. I'm not saying everybody should do it, but even if you took five, 10 minutes of quiet time every day or every other day or once a week and asked yourself simple questions like, who am I? What do I want? What is my life's purpose? Is there a contribution I can make to my community or to society? What kind of relationships do I want to have? What is my idea of well being, and how can I achieve it?

I don't ask that you even know the answers, but if you start to do this kind of reflection, it has a very interesting way of not only moving you to the answers but of changing your behavior."

On Happiness: "Happy people have meaning and purpose in their life. Happy people are creative, and happy people know how to make other people happy. They're very good at building relationships, not networking but building authentic relationships. So when you build authentic relationships, you end up also being successful, because authentic relationships are cooperative relationships where you harness your collective creative and where you find opportunity. Happiness does not necessarily come from material success, so if you win the lottery today, at the end of one year you'll be as unhappy as you were before you won the lottery because you return to who are you are in your essential state."

I asked Minda: What if all Filipinos reach what you've achieved? "This country will be a better place," she said.

Speaking of people who have opened their minds, noticed that the more active readers are those from abroad. Could it be? Vocal and intelligent Filipinos are not here but away? Locals? Prove me wrong, please.

Dani Orosa of the UK sent in this New York Times article as an addendum to the earlier empathy piece (see entry below):

Earlier studies have suggested that those in the lower classes, unable to simply hire others, rely more on neighbors or relatives for things like a ride to work or child care. As a result, the authors propose, they have to develop more effective social skills — ones that will engender good will.

“Upper-class people, in spite of all their advantages, suffer empathy deficits,” Dr. Keltner said. “And there are enormous consequences.” In other words, a high-powered lawyer or chief executive, ill equipped to pick up on more-subtle emotions, doesn’t make for a sympathetic boss.

Dani's conclusion: Filipinos are full of empathy because they are poor. I actually agree with that. Imagine that, poverty as a blessing.

New York-based Peachy Leonardia, meanwhile, sent in a piece that will definitely be used in the future. Keep 'em coming, folks.

In closing, I'd like to leave you something for your moment of reflection: Phillip Glass music from the movie "Koyaanisqatsi." Enjoy and remember it's "Who am I? What do I want? What is my life's purpose?"



*A situation in which a country's seeming good fortune proves ultimately to have a detrimental effect on the economy.